Oh, Yeaaaa!
I so have to buy this shirt. No, like really. I must have it.
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Pitfall Harry Lives!
My buddy Rob just totally made my day. Granted, it’s only 11:35 as I write this, so the day’s really just begun, but still, it’s starting off on a very solid note. Looks like one of my all-time favorite video game characters is getting a run on the Wii: PItfall the Big Adventure.
I agree 100% with Rob’s comments about Pitfall. I LOVED the original game on the Atari 2600, as well as the hot-air-balloon-filled sequel, appropriately called Pitfall II. But all the follow-ups may’ve looked kinda nice, but they weren’t Pitfall. The 3-D style made for a cool game, but not a cool Pitfall game. You with me? Yeah I didn’t think so. Anyways, I will most definitely check out the latest version on the Wii just to swing my arms and have Harry jump over one-eyed crocodiles, as he swings from vine to vine. Woo!
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Mother of a Song List
With Mother’s Day coming up, I figured it’d be nice to compile a list of great songs dedicated to mom. No, I don’t mean all lovey dovey, thanks for raising me type stuff. I’m talking about songs that have the word mom, mother, mama or any variation in their title. I’m sure mom will appreciate each and every one of these. And to sucker her in, we’ll even start with a nice sweet one.
Top 10 Songs About Your Mother
10. “Mother” by John Lennon
9. “Mother” by Danzig
8. “Mama I’m Coming Home” by Ozzy Osbourne
I couldn’t find the real vid to this Ozzy tune, but I found this one which has the song set to the awesometastic anime series “Fullmetal Alchemist.”
7. “Mother” by Pink Floyd
6. “Mama Weer All Crazee Now” by Quiet Riot
5. “Mama Kin” by Aerosmith
I couldn’t find the original vid by Aerosmith (do they even have one?), so instead, here’s a sweet live version by Aerosmith and Guns N Roses, complete with a pot-bellied Axl Rose for your viewing pleasure.
4. “Your Mama Don’t Dance” by Poison
3. “Mother’s Little Helper” by The Rolling Stones
I couldn’t find an official vid for this one either, but this version is pretty well done.
2. “Tie Your Mother Down” by Queen
No official vid found for this either, and this version’s pretty boring to look at, except it scrolls the lyrics so you can sing along at your desk and frighten your fellow co-workers!
1. “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne
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You Deserve a Break Today
Over 1 Billion Served Serviced
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Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Contrary to what some people may think, Cinco de Mayo has absolutely nothing to do with Hellman’s or Miracle Whip. Apparently it’s a day commemorating the victory of some Mexican forces over those snooty French back in the mid 1800s. Go figure.
I really don’t know much about the holiday, except that the awesome mexican restaurant around the corner is always beyond mobbed on this day, with shouts of “cerveza” heard in between mariachi bands. So in honor of this day, I give you the most-demanded list of all time:
Top Five Best Taco Bell Foods
5. Bean Burrito
Lame you say? I say, “Tu es estupido!” Usually hidden on the value meal menu (I’d say the “99 cents menu” but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore), this fairly simplistic burrito is not only super tasty, but it’s damn filling too. Great way to help keep you under budget. I wonder if Rachel Ray’s aware of this one…
4. Beef & Potato Burrito
I laughed at this one the first time I saw it. Beef? Potatoes? In a burrito? Yeah, right. And then I had one. And then I had another. And then I couldn’t stop. There’s just something about those tiny little crunchy potatoes that make bunnies and rainbows appear in your head as you savor every last bite.
3. Gordita Baja (with chicken)
I’m not a fan of the ground beef at the Bell, so I usually get chicken instead. And the Baja Gordita is just amazing. That soft pita-like shell… that ranch-like dressing. Es delicioso!
2. Grilled Stuft Burrito (with steak)
Oh man. I always forgot how good and how filling this one is and, of course, over order and then get over full and then super nauseous. Awesome. The grilled soft shell holds the perfect contents together: beans, rice, three cheeses, a creamy Pepper Jack sauce, and salsa. This one is like an entire meal wrapped into a tiny little package. (Trust me, that picture looks disgusting, but the real thing is awesomeness.)
1. Nacho Double Decker Taco
This one’s not always available but like the “McRib,” when this super artery-clogger comes around, you better stock up. Can’t decide between a soft shell or hard shell? Then have both! Stuck together with some refried beans, the only thing that puts this one over the top is the gallons of nacho cheese it so generously offers your taste buds.
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A Real American Zero
I didn’t see (nor do I have any desire to see) the recent Transformers movie. I was never into the toys or cartoons as a kid and that Shia Lebouf kid just ticks me off anyways. (Ever see the movie “Holes”? Don’t. It sucks. Big time.)
But I was big into G.I. Joe as a kid. The cartoon, the comic, the action figures. I remember saving up the little “flag points” that came with each figure, and you could mail them in for a free action figure. Fun stuff all around. And there’s been talk about a live-action Joe movie for like a decade or so now. But it’s finally coming to fruition. And, well, it’s gonna suck big fat hairy ones I’m sure.
What Would Tyler Durden Do? has an exclusive look at the cast of G.I. Joe (Well, he claims it’s exclusive and I’m too damn lazy to go searching around to see if it’s true, so WWTDD gets my props). Here’s a few choice photos:
Rachel Nichols as Scarlett
Marlon Wayans as Ripcord
Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow
Sienna Miller as The Baroness
Ray Park as Snake Eyes
Dennis Quaid as Hawk
I think that half-assed smirk on Dennis’ face above pretty much sums up his feelings about the film. And if that’s really Storm Shadow’s “costume,” I think I might actually cry.
Lots more photos at: Tyler Exclusive - The Cast of GI Joe
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Evil Eye Chart
Most guys will jump at the chance to wear glasses if optometrists started using eye charts that looked like this one:
(Found on Tech, Fun, This n That)
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Oh the Horror
Call me a wuss (go on, I’m sure somebody out there will), but I’m just not a fan of horror movies. Suspense I can do. Sixth Sense. Silence of the Lambs. Even “Scream” I can take. But that’s about the extent of it. Today’s sick torture horror flicks or even older slasher-type ones just don’t do it for me. But I think I just found a horror film I actually want to see:
Here’s a super exciting cheesy trailer to get you pumped for it. If I were still in college, this would sooo be the perfect Friday night film after a long night of drinking.
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Top 10 ’80s Videos
I wasn’t born when man landed on the moon. I was around, though, when the MTV Man landed on the moon. Yep I was witness to video killing the radio star and I totally loved it. Videos started out slow, mostly just being concert shots or staged shots of bands just pretending to play. But then they got so much better, telling stories or being just all-around neat. Nowadays, though, youve got a 1 in 10 shot of actually seeing a video if you turn on MTV. So sad.
So in an effort to live in the past, I give you my 10 favorite videos from the ’80s. I may not be the biggest fan of the music or the band, but these videos definitely stick out in my mind as some of the best, coolest and most memorable. Party on.
Top 10 ’80s Music Videos
10. Walk this Way - Run DMC/Aerosmith
I hate rap. Always have. I also thought Aerosmith was an old, boring drugged-out band who had really annoying and boring music. Although I liked “Dream On” but that was about it. And then two bad tastes met in one video and became one great taste! Awesomely entertaining video and a great combination of styles through the music started to change my mind on the whole rap thing a bit.
9. Venus - Bananarama
Okay, I’ll admit it. This is the video that made me a man. Yeah, I can’t stand the song itself, but come on, it’s a bunch of super hot babes wearing next to nothing (well, at least it was back in the ’80s), dancing and slithering around all over the place. What else was a super-frustrated teenager to do with himself while watching this one?
8. Land of Confusion - Genesis
Yeah, they’re poppy. But it’s a fun song. And it mentions Superman. And it’s got all these freaky Muppet-like puppets running around.
7. Hot For Teacher - Van Halen
Homework was never quite like this…
6. (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party) - Beastie Boys
Aerosmth and Run DMC opened my eyes a little bit to rap. But these guys made me actually like it. Somewhat. I still don’t like most rap. Or R&B. Or wtf you call it these days. I just know I fought for my right to party right along with these guys.
5. Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles
Easily one of the stupidest and most overplayed songs ever. But this vid’s on the list for one reason. That one shot of Suzanna Hoffs with her “I want you right now” look in her eyes. She was looking right at me, y’know.
4. Money For Nothing - Dire Straights
I never understood why the video was basically about some dudes packing boxes in a Best Buy type of store. But the whole video game-style kept me glued to my TV. I want my MTV indeed.
3. Parents Just Don’t Understand - DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
Geez, who woulda thought I”d have 3 rap songs on here. Crazy! But these guys are like the Huxtables of rap, so it’s just good clean fun. I just enjoyed the total ridiculousness of this vid. And the big bright shiny colors.
2. Kiss Me Deadly - Lita Ford
Dear lord, Ms. Ford! A crazy hot blonde with giant hooters and she plays a mean guitar? Yeah, she had me at “didn’t get laid.”
1. We’re Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
Overplayed? Yes. Great, motivating song? Sure. Hilarious video? You bet! And it’s got Neidermeyer from Animal House so you just can’t beat it! This is the full version with the super long intro. Sorry for the semi poor quality, but this is exactly how videos should be done.
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Mock Rock and Roll
I love the internet. Not for the brilliant sharing of ideas. Not for the unending access to porn. And not for instant access to sports scores or falling stock prices. Sure those are all well and good, but thanks to the glorious internet, just about anybody can sell, well, just about anything.
Like this: Mock Rocks.
Seriously. I understand those small fake rocks to hide a key in or something. But a giant rock? That looks pretty fake? I can’t think of too many folks who’d get good use outta this, ‘cept maybe for the mafia…
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