5 Coolest Things You’ll Never Own
I’m a geek. I’ll freely admit it. I’ve played my fair share of video games, Dungeons & Dragons and Magic: The Gathering. I’ve collected action figures (don’t you dare call them “dolls”), played the Star Wars drinking game and yes, I even owned a “How to Speak Klingon” book on tape back in my college days.
But all that pales in comparison to my comic collecting days. I was a major collector years ago, buying and selling books like mad. I think at it’s height I probably had about 9,000 or so books on hand. All this is to say that yes, I’m a big geek. And because of that (and some great connections I made while working as an editor for a magazine about the comics industry), I have some unique items in my collection these days. Some of which are truly one of a kind. So without further ado (or adieu) I give you…
Top 5 Coolest Things You’ll Never Own…
Because They’re Mine!
1. Kubert Autographed Castle
Try this on for size… Bigshot comic artist Adam Kubert (son of the legendary comic artist Joe Kubert, and brother of the just-as-bigshotish Andy Kubert) is also a big White Castle fan. He flattened a Castle box, signed it, addressed it to me and actually mailed it to me exactly as you see it (addy was on the other side). Sadly the aroma of steamed meat, chopped onions and sliced pickles is long gone.
2. Mr. T. Mini-Mate Figure
Mini-Mate’s are the coolest action figure this side of Weebles. Wait, Weebles suck. Scratch that. Mini-Mates just kick ass. They’re tiny little figures of superheroes or movie characters with interchangeable parts and super articulated points. So you can pose them doing all sorts of things. This here Mr. T was just a sample given out in small quantities to promote that “Celebrity Deathmatch” claymation show. I honestly don’t recall what this was for (probably testing the waters for a Deathmatch toy line), I just remember it somehow showed up on my desk at work and it’s never left my side since.
3. DUFF Beer Can
Yep, this is a genuine, official, completely unauthorized Duff beer straight from some Australian blokes. I was working our booth one year at the annual San Diego Comic-Con and suddenly this Australian guy and his son showed up. We were somehow talking about the Simpsons and he pulls this Duff beer out of his bag. We all freaked and then he gave it to us like it was no big deal. Apparently in the late ’90s, an Australian beer company named Lion Nathan (thanks to Andrew at OneDollarJackpot for the info!) made a limited run of these without getting any official license or anything. So they were shut down faster than you can say Flaming Moe. It’s over 10 years old and no way I’d still drink it, but I just can’t bring myself to open this one.
4. Custom Mego Red Skull
Back in the ’70s, a toy company called Mego put out a series of superhero dolls. Er, action figures. Ah hell, they were dolls. They had cloth clothes, capes, hair, etc. But they were awesome. Spider-Man. Batman. Superman. Tarzan. (?) Thor. Hulk. Heck, even Star Trek got in on the action. Great posability and neat accessories made for cool cool toys. But they of course only made so many heroes and villains. Like you’d ever think a mainstream company back in 1970 would produce a Red Skull action figure? As in Captain America’s Nazi arch-enemy? Yeah fat chance. So we had a custom Mego Red Skull made a number of years back to use in the magazine. But the customizer did too good a job of it and we couldn’t use it. So being the biggest Captain America fan on the planet (or in the County at least), I called dibs. And somehow got away with it.
5. Custom Captain America Shield
Yes there’ve been a number of toy Captain America shields over the years, including some high-end collectible ones that you can wall mount. But honestly, they all blow. This one, however, is a true one-of-a-kind. My best friend had this made as a surprise for my birthday years ago by some guy in the midwest who does crazy things with fiberglass. This not only looks great, but it’s huge, has two leather straps on the other side so you can hold it, and it’s heavy. Damn heavy. I haven’t tried stopping bullets with it yet, but any peeping Toms in your area, you let me know, okay?
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Comments
Jason - Actually, that was my main goal in writing this post. To make you specifically jealous. Woo!
GFYM - 4 letters I don’t know what they mean!
Wickedvox - Hah. The geek of your heart. I guess that’s a compliment? And yeah, while it’s the cheapest and flimiest thing, I love that White Castle box.
Andrew: Mini Mates were not for anything to do with “Celebrity Deathmatch” They were created by Digger T Mesch a Brilliant toymaker and artist who used to be the head honcho at Art Asylum the elite studio based out of N.Y.C. Digger has gone to Japan to refine his already amazing skills. Art Asylum might still have some mini mates around check them out at http://www.artasylum.com
Peace
Rik - Yeah, Digger is amazing. He and the gang at Art Asylum are literally like a circus. Just full of fun and energy and they truly love what they’re doing. I totally should have given them some props and credit in here, so thanks for mentioning them. This Mr. T though was done as a promo for Celebrity Deathmatch, but yes, it was done by Art Asylum. Also, I believe Diamond Select actually bought out the company last year, to help AA just focus on the important stuff, like creating awesome toys and statues.
TaG - Awesome. I don’t know what’s sadder, that I made that mistake or that you’re the first one to notice it! I mean, uh, you passed my test! Well done, sir! (Or madam). Thanks. 
[...] created a list of the 5 coolest things you’ll never own. These are some truly unique items that geeks everywhere are sure to [...]
That Duff Beere can is pretty cool, but by the colors, It looks like it might have been something Castlemaine Brewery made. They’re pretty well known in Queensland because they’re the guy’s who make XXXX (Four X) Actually it’s all pretty cool stuff. Nice site.
*jealous of all*