Evil Swedish Midgets!
Thanks to our award-winning roving reporter Tish (who covers the Midget beat), MyBlogRules has just unearthed some extremely disturbing news!
Midgets (yes, I refuse to call them little people in this story due to their pure evilness) are actually hiding in hockey bags and stealing other passengers stuff!!! According to an article on boingboing.net, Swedish police believe a team of thieves are using a pack of fuckin’ midgets hidden in hockey bags to steal valuables from other passengers. The bags are put in the cargo holds of buses and during transit the little bastards sneak out of the bags and ransack everyone else’s luggage. Upon arrival at their destination, the hockey bags are quickly whisked away before anyone’s the wiser. If you can read Swedish, the police have issued an official warning.
Can you imagine if there’s a mixup and you actually use a hockey bag yourself, and in a crazy rush, you grab the wrong bag and end up bringing an honest-to-god midget home by mistake? You open you bag to unpack and instead of seeing those ratty ol’ boxer shorts, there’s an angry, confused and ornery midget staring right back at you. With a shiv in his hand I bet. What the hell would you do? WHAT WOULD YOU DO!??!
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I can see the headlines: “WHEN MIDGETS ATTACK” or “GOOD MIDGETS GONE BAD”